If you read my previous post, you'll know that I recently attended a bachelorette party - a first for me. Parts of it were as to be expected. There was lots of alcohol, jell-o shooters, ridiculous costumes for the bride-to-be and some rather graphic straws that we brought to the bar to drink out of for the whole night. But what I was not expecting was realizing that I am officially too old for the club scene. Now, when I told my friends this, they were pretty surprised, since I was always the one trying to convince them to go the clubs instead of a pub a few years ago (largely unsuccessfully, I might add). So to prove that I have not, in fact, lost what little sense I had, I've created a list of the top 5 reasons I'm too old for the club.
1. I didn't know 90% of the songs they were playing. And those I did recognize were "throw back" tunes from at least 5 years ago.
This is actually really surprising for me, because I know the words to a ridiculous number of songs (it's true...if I had a super power, that would be it). And the last time I was at a club, I could at least sing along to half of what they were playing. But sadly, those days have past. I guess it's time to accept my fate of pubs with live bands playing covers of '60s songs, because I definitely know all the words to those!
2. The group of people I was with were the only ones wearing heels.
I apparently missed the memo where girls finally came to their senses and started wearing flats to the club. I don't know how many nights I have walked home in bare feet because my shoes were killing me so much I couldn't take another step. That's always been part of the club experience for me! Plus it's usually the only opportunity I get to wear my ridiculous stilettos without getting strange looks from people. Somehow I don't think 4" platforms would go over well at a pub...although, I could always try to start a trend!
3. I refuse to pay $10 for a drink.
Now, I shouldn't say this is directly related to the bachelorette party. The bar we went to that night had surprisingly cheap drinks (I think they were $4). However, I've been to enough clubs in the past to know how much most places charge for drinks, and there is no way I am forking over that much for a shot of something mixed with pop. I could buy a pair of really nice heels for the amount of money I'd spend on drinks in one night at a club! Granted, I now have nowhere to wear the shoes...but that's beside the point.
4. On a related note, $30 for cover!?
I'm sorry, but there isn't a bar in Toronto awesome enough for me to pay $30 to get in. I get mad when I have to pay that to go to a concert! We actually went to the bar before 11, just so we didn't have to pay the insane cover. I guess that's how they can afford the cheaper drinks. And how do all these 20-something students have the money to pay for these places? When I was that age, I'm pretty sure the only thing I could afford was 2-4s of $1 beer. Oh Lucky beer, how I miss you...
5. When I'm the oldest single person in the room, it's time to leave.
I don't really consider myself that old (despite finding my first grey hair the other day, but that's all nicely covered with hair dye now). But, really, when my other single friend and I approached the only group of somewhat-mature-looking guys at the club, and found out they were 25, we knew it was time to go. I swear, all the single men between the ages of 25 and 30 have a secret club where they all hide out so we can't find them. If anyone locates said hideout, please let me know where it is! Maybe there's a secret handshake or something that I don't know about...
So anyways, there you go! My top 5 reasons why I don't plan on voluntarily going to a club again anytime soon (exceptions, of course, being for pre-organized parties in which I have had no part in planning). Side note for all of my friends - if you are planning on having your birthday at a club, I may come down with a mysterious illness. *Cough*.
Hope everyone is enjoying their Monday! Ciao!
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