My Top 5 Things I Wish I Could Do, But Can't

I'd say that for the most part, I'm a well-rounded person.  I can maintain a decent conversation, I'm (fairly) intelligent, and I can hold my own at most video games.  But there are a few things I wish I was better at, and that unfortunately I'll probably never be able to do.

5. Anything sports related.

I realize this is a pretty broad category, but I am the least athletically-inclined person on the face of the earth.  I spent my entire childhood dancing - ballet, jazz, tap, you name it, I've probably done it.  But you add a ball or a bat to the equation, and I'm completely hopeless.  My elementary school gym teacher nicknamed me the "ball magnet", which got really awkward when I hit my teenage years.  I don't even know how many pairs of glasses I've bent from getting hit in the face.  Dodgeball was the bane of my existence.  Track and field day?  Worst day of the year.  I was always the last person picked for every sport in gym class.

Even now, when actual organized sporting events are few and far between in my life, my lack of athletic prowess manifests itself in other ways.  Going to the gym?  I have fallen off the end of several treadmills.  Bicycles and I definitely do not get along, and the last time I was on roller blades, I ended up with road rash so bad I couldn't sit for a week!  I really hope lack of coordination isn't genetic, or my poor children will be hopeless!

4. Whistle.

I actually used to be able to whistle when I was a kid.  My dad is an expert whistler, and I thought I'd followed in his footsteps.  But then I started playing the flute in seventh grade and I don't know what happened, but I just stopped being able to whistle.  My theory is that playing the flute developed a different set of muscles or something.  Who knows.  All I know is that I'll never be able to whistle along with the Andy Griffith's Show theme song...sigh!

3. Touch my nose with my tongue.

When I was a kid, my best friend could do this, and I always thought it was so cool.  Not sure why...when I think about it now, it's kind of gross.  I think it's one of those things you're either born being able to do, or not.  So I guess I'll never know what the end of my nose tastes like.

2. Go 24 hours without hurting myself.

Along with being the most uncoordinated person alive, I'm also the most accident prone.  I frequently walk into doorframes, bang my head on pretty much anything even remotely at eye level, and trip over my own two feet.  My friends just shake their heads and sigh when they hear me yelp from the next room, it's to be expected at this point.  Most of the time I end up covered in bruises with no idea of where they came from.  Except for the massive one I have on my thigh currently - that came from hitting my leg on the handle on my kitchen cupboard while walking in the dark.  I think yellow-tinged polka dots is a good look for me!

1. Reach things on the top shelf.

I'm short, I came to accept this long ago.  Well, actually, I'm not short, I'm fairly average.  I just happen to have freakishly tall friends, who like to stick things in places I can't reach.  Unless I plan on walking around in stilettos constantly, or bring a step-ladder everywhere I go, I'll just have to continue annoying my friends to get them to reach things for me.  I've also gotten quite proficient in climbing on counters, although this doesn't really work so well with my clumsiness.  And yes, I have fallen off of the counter on more than one occasion.  But I got down the muffin tin first!